Are you lying to yourself? You might be an asshole..

  • By thebugpodcast
  • 20 Feb, 2017

By Michel Roy

I think most people feel like they are delightful and a joy to be around and that’s mostly true. While I think I’m pretty great, I know that I can be an asshole. When I’m being one it usually doesn’t take someone bringing it to my attention—like I know it already, I’ll turn it around here in just a second. Let me have this moment. However, there are some people who think they are grand and that they are never unsavory, and if you think so then you obviously have a problem and you don’t know awesomeness when you see it. Obviously.

Here’s the issue Amazingly Amazing person, you’re actually an asshole. YOU are a jerk, you constantly find fault in something and you have absolutely no problem messing up a moment with your sour personality and unsolicited advice and information. There’s a chance that you know everything and you love to offer your bits of knowledge at every opportunity. One thing you don’t know, is that most people can’t stomach you because you aren’t someone people want to be around, and you are not easy to talk to, you come off a little judgmental and unfriendly. It doesn’t make you a bad person but there’s a possibility that you’ll end up pretty lonely. Who wants to be around someone who never has anything positive to say about anyone else? The key words here are anyone else—you find plenty of positives in yourself but nobody else can do anything right and the compliments and positive comments you make feel rehearsed and fraudulent. I’m sure none of this sounds familiar to the assholes in the room…

It’s going to take some serious self-reflection to come to terms with this behavior, and I’m sure you’re wondering how I know this, right? Because I was this person, I’m sure of it. I was never at fault, grouchy, miserable, and often mean, yet I thought I was the best thing since ass shots. I swear if you would have said to me “you are horrible to spend time with and I don’t know if you’ve noticed that people kind of don’t like you…but they don’t” I wouldn’t have believed you. It took me sitting down and looking at myself and wondering why I was having so many issues with people and trying to figure out if there was an issue with my communication that was causing the problem. In retrospect I was very unhappy with my life as a whole, I was feeling unfulfilled and I wanted to be so much more than I was at the time. The only thing that was stopping me was myself,  it was me being in my own way. It was me neglecting to self-improve where I could on a regular basis. I’m not perfect now, and I don’t pretend to be—I do count myself a reformed asshole. I spend time with myself weekly to look at my behavior and I try to find ways to improve on things that I’m not doing as well as I feel I should be. Last week I found myself being kind of mean due to a personal issue I was having, that’s not fair. It wasn’t this guy’s fault. So I had to tell myself I wasn’t going to feed into the things that sent me to the place where I was an asshole. At this point I don’t need anyone to tell me, that’s only because I already know…but you, you might need a little push in the right direction. The next time you find yourself at odds with someone, a friend, a lover, or an acquaintance, please look at the big picture. It might be you that has the problem.

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